I am pausing in my chronological story to talk about grandparents and the important role they played in my life. I was fortunate to have strong relationships with both sets of grandparents and my great-grandmother. They were all different in their personalities but I can see a piece of each of them in my personality. Great-grandma Deventer or Grandma Venter to her great grandchildren lived in a farmhouse surrounded by fields on a gravel road between our home in Auburn and my grandparents home in Fort Wayne. I believe grandparents have a gift of giving unconditional love to their grandchildren. Being a single parent my mom did not have the capacity to give one-on-one attention to each of her children as much as she probably wanted. This is where grandparents stepped in for me. I remember a few overnight sleepovers at Great- Grandma Venter’s home. Just me and Grandma Venter. I loved having all the attention of my grandma. Now that I am an adult, I am sure she enjoyed having someone with her as well because she lived by herself. It is amazing how many memories are associated with food...marshmallows or gumdrops in crazy daisy corelle dishes, fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet tea but not too sweet and fresh raspberries from the garden. These are a few of my favorite things. Grandma Venter’s white farmhouse had peonies blooming in the front yard along with the prickly fir trees that dropped needles in the yard making it treacherous to go barefoot. Grandma Venter was an excellent seamstress making clothes for her grandchildren (I still have some of the dresses she made my mom) and baby quilts for her great grandchildren. In her bedroom I enjoyed looking at her small collection of costume jewelry in her light blue jewelry box with the scent of sewing machine oil, fabric, patterns and Grandma’s lotion filling the room. Jim and Carol Ahlersmeyer were my mom’s parents. They lived in a subdivision on the north side of Fort Wayne. Christmas Eve and birthdays were celebrated with my grandparents. Grandpa Jim made my tenth birthday extra special by making a sign and attaching it along with balloons to their lamp in the front yard. I remember feeling simultaneously embarrassed and loved when we pulled up in front of their home to see the sign and balloons. Vacations as young children were often made possible because of grandparents. One summer Grandpa Jim took my mom, my older brother and me to Peru, IN to see the circus and to Monticello, IN to Indiana Beach Amusement Park. We spent the night in a motel (remember the ones with all the doors opening to the outside with an outdoor pool in the middle). The night we stayed at the motel there was a lunar eclipse and I remember everyone sitting in chairs outside watching it. Again, my memories are associated with food. Grandma Carol made the best zucchini cookies with cream cheese frosting, cinnamon applesauce that she flavored with red cinnamon candy pieces and vegetable beef soup. What Grandparent does not always have ice cream in the freezer? Grandpa and Grandma usually had neapolitan ice cream in theirs. They also had a supply of Pepsi in tall glass bottles in the fridge with back up in the garage. Grandma Carol is a dooer and she often expressed love by helping others. After Abby was born she drove from her home in Fort Wayne, IN to our home in Bryan, OH to help do some cleaning, watch Hannah for an afternoon while I napped, and made her famous applesauce. It is no wonder she felt quite loved when my parents, siblings and my nieces and nephews gathered on a Saturday in June a few years ago to clean her home, work in the yard and take her grocery shopping. We were speaking her love language. Grandma Carol enjoyed working in her yard growing a small vegetable garden and tending to rose bushes behind her house. I can remember the smell of lily of the valley growing near her front door. Cookouts with grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and lawn games were the best at Grandpa Jim and Grandma Carol’s in the summer time. We played lawn games like horseshoes, yard darts, croquet and badminton. From the youngest to the oldest, Grandpa Jim got everyone involved. I remember sleepovers at my grandparent’s home. My Grandpa Jim stepped in to fulfill the role of my missing dad. He taught me to ride a bike, holding me steady running behind until I was able to ride on my own. Grandpa Jim and Grandma Carol both worked. Grandpa Jim for Allen Dairy and Grandma Carol at Montgomery Wards. Because they both worked sleepovers often occurred over the weekend. Saturday morning my Grandpa worked either in the yard or around the house, but Saturday afternoon you would find him in his favorite chair in the back family room watching either baseball or black and white Westerns. Grandpa Jim was athletic and enjoyed baseball, basketball, golf and bowling. Sometimes Grandpa Jim and Grandma Carol would take us out to dinner at one of the many Don Hall’s restaurants in Fort Wayne. These are restaurants where the speciality was steak with baked potatoes. When we spent Saturday night we would go to Leo United Methodist Church with my grandparents where Grandpa Jim served as an usher. Grandpa and Grandma Weigle are my dad’s mom and step-dad. I never knew my Grandpa Pancake so Grandpa Weigle stepped into the role of Grandpa with much love. Grandpa Weigle was talented artistically, musically and as a writer. He painted beautiful rural watercolor scenes. He played the organ at their church and he wrote poems and documented his courtship and early marriage to my Grandma in writing. He was quite romantic. For most of my childhood they lived in Florida. Because they lived so far away we only saw them a few times a year. But, they were intentional in being a part of our lives. Even after my parents divorce the relationship between my mom and Grandma remained strong. Mom was always a daughter in love. The bonds in the family of God can be stronger than marriage familial bonds. Grandma Weigle grew up in Ohio and lived for a time in Indiana and became a part of the Church of God Quite a few summers she traveled to Anderson, IN to attend the church of God camp meeting. One summer she attended camp meeting and then I was able to travel back to Lockport, NY with her where they were living at the time. Grandpa Weigle was a general contractor for industrial construction and his work took him around the country. One-on-one time with a grandparent, just what my heart needed during the summer of 1983. I see a pattern in my life of valuing one-on-one time. I am not a big group person who is attracted to the spotlight. Give me face-to-face time and I am content. Road trips or for that matter any time with Grandma Weigle was not dull. Things just seemed to happen to Grandma Weigle. She may become flustered by them momentarily but then she had the ability to laugh at herself. I am glad I saw this modeled for me. The ability to not take myself so seriously. For example, one time when we were visiting her in Florida we went shopping. For some reason, she had left the car running with the air conditioning on and when we got back to the car the windows were all steamed up. I believe she may have locked the doors too. I was only ten when I traveled to New York with Grandma to spend three weeks before my mom and siblings came to pick me up. At the age of ten three weeks was a long time to spend away from your parents. My Grandma and I would go shopping, miniature golfing and to the movies. Disney re-released Snow White that summer and she took me to see it. I would watch Little House on the Prairie in the afternoon while Grandma took a nap. Grandpa Weigle let me use his paints to paint a rooster he had drawn on a piece of wood. When my mom and siblings came we visited Niagara Falls with a boat ride on Maiden of the Mist and an afternoon excursion into Canada to a small amusement park where I bought the Secret Garden as a souvenir. After my mom remarried in 1985, my brother and I rode back to Florida with my Grandma and spent some time with her and my Grandpa. They taught us how to play euchre and I think we may have played every night. Grandma took us to Epcot Center and to the beach to play in the waves. My first period had been earlier that year and it was not quite regular. Wouldn’t you know it, I got my period while we were in Florida. I can be so stinking independent and shy I never told my Grandma about it. I am sure the trip would have been much easier if I had filled her in on this detail of my life. But no, I tried to figure out how I was going to navigate wearing a pad to the beach with my swimsuit. I am thankful some subjects are not as taboo to talk about as they once were. I am sure my Grandma would have understood my dilemma but I just was not certain how to bring up the topic and again the independence. Grandma Venter passed away in 1984 when I was 11. Grandpa Jim had a heart attack when I was in the sixth grade and stayed in a nursing home for the remainder of his life. He later died in 1988 when I was a sophomore in high school. Grandpa Weigle passed away in 1991 when I was a senior in high school. Grandma Weigle passed away in 2012. Another wind of the yarn, grandparents. I am grateful for the impact they each had on my life. Each of their lives are entwined with mine, making me who I am today. I did not know Grandpa Pancake but I favor his side of the family in looks with green eyes and brunette hair. I enjoy caring for my home through making satiating home cooked meals and sewing like my Grandma Venter. I can be a dooer like Grandma Carol and although I don’t like to clean as much as she does, I do appreciate a clean and orderly home. Hmm, how am I like Grandpa Jim? I am thankful for his example of loving others well and enjoying life. This is still an example to me. Expressing love to others through warm hugs and not being afraid to try new things. Grandma Weigle also enjoyed life, although her life was incredibly hard at times. I appreciate her ability to not take yourself too seriously. I believe I inherited stubbornness and independence from both grandmothers. Grandpa Weigle was a tender man and expressed love well to his family. I am extremely grateful that even though I had an absent father, God blessed me with these tremendous men of God who were not afraid to show feelings and express love to their grandchildren. I think these positive qualities that I saw modeled in my grandfathers made me instinctively look for the same qualities in a future husband. Eric is athletic, he expresses love well to his family and he has written quite a few poems to me throughout our dating and marriage years. My ball of yarn is getting bigger and I still have over half my life left. :) Poem written by Grandpa Weigle to my Grandma Weigle on their 5th Anniversary in 1973.
Hand in Hand We were strolling hand in hand through life’s enchanted garden, My wife and I. The path, the flowers and trees were sprinkled with sun and shade. See over there, our son Lee who is now grown and a fine young man. Life was sweet and full and all was so perfect and right. As we strolled hand in hand through life’s enchanted garden, My wife and I. Suddenly in the winking of the eye, all around was darkness. No sun to light the way for my wife and I. The earth it did shake, the winds did blast. I clasped her hand so tight. Hold me tighter she cried, “I’m so afraid.” Don’t let me slip, don’t let me slip away. I strained and strained with all my might. In human strength I failed and she slipped away. In exhaustion I dropped to the path and there I lay. Finally my eyes were open, it was light in an eerie sort of way. I looked down the path and all was shrouded in mist and haze. It must be a dream, yes a dream and I looked around, But she was gone and my hand so empty hung. I must find her, and up and down the path I ran Hours turned into days, days into weeks, and weeks into months. She was gone, forever gone from life’s enchanted garden. Can this be life’s enchanted garden with all the mist and haze? Is this really life’s enchanted pathway with me so all alone? Alone! Was I really alone? No! I could not be alone. It is written. “Lo, I am with you always, even into the end.” “I was with you in the darkness as I was with you in the light. Keep walking, keeping going on, on down through life’s enchanted garden.” With new assurance I moved along but the mist and haze did not go away. As I was walking along one day, a voice I heard, I stopped. “Jack, look toward the south one day” the voice did say. “To the south and down Florida way.” I asked. “Yes to the south, there is someone so nice down Fort Lauderdale way. I have found you a new companion, a new love. So please don’t delay.” And then all was quiet and still. The mist, the haze, it is lifting, the enchanted garden, I could see again, the flowers, the trees all seemed so right. With new hope and haste I traveled on, Looking, looking to the south and Florida way. And then I saw her standing alone in the enchanted garden How could I help but see her, the most beautiful flower In life’s enchanted garden that day. With halting steps I approached and looked into her eyes. I reached out my hand and with trembling voice I asked. “Helen Dear I would love to take you hand in mine. I would ask you to stroll hand in hand with me, Down through life’s enchanted garden.” She reached out her hand to mine with smile so sweet, And for five years we have traveled together down life’s path. My wife and I. The path, the flowers and trees more beautiful grow. And in the garden are new and wondrous flowers. Just look over there! We see Timmy, and Lara, and Becky, Our new delights. Isn’t life’s enchanted garden so beautiful Darling? As we stroll hand in hand down through the pathways My wife and I. Jack Weigle
1 Comment
Mom
7/29/2020 10:41:23 am
wonderful memories
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AuthorI am a woman who loves everything about making a house a home. I enjoy meal planning, cooking, baking, sewing, crafting, and decorating. Not so much cleaning and laundry, but that goes along with caring for a home. I am blessed to be married to a pastor and we have had the privilege of raising two daughters. Archives
July 2021
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