This season during the Coronavirus Pandemic at times has seemed bleak. One of my purposes for writing these reflections is recalling the past blessings of God which has given me hope that He is now working and will continue to work in my life. Further down my life’s journey I will be writing about how God blessed me in this pandemic season. It is only appropriate that I listen to Keith Green during this morning of writing. You will find out at the end of this paragraph. The focus of this installment is calling. Calling to what? What is calling? Does this word show my age? Do people use the word calling anymore? Merriam-Webster defines calling as “a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence.” My strong inner impulse (divine influence being the Holy Spirit) began sometime while in middle school. Our church youth group visited a nearby sister church in Defiance, OH for overnight church lock-in. A lock-in was a time when you could play games in the gym, watch movies or hang out with your friends, basically stay up all night with no sleep. I was probably one of the few watching a documentary the church was showing on the life of Keith Green, an American gospel musician and songwriter. Tears streamed down my face there sitting in the dark as I watched his story unfold. I was inspired by his life. I felt the impulse again in high school during a service at Calvary Chapel of Auburn with Gentle Touch Ministries, a Christian singing group. While listening to them sing and tell how God was using them to share His love and the message of salvation around the world, including Eastern Europe, I felt that some day I wanted to travel to share the Gospel with others. At the time I was not sure where this path would lead but I felt I was being “called” into ministry. As high school graduation approached I wondered what my next steps would look like. The common question of every high school senior, what do I want to do with my life? Should I follow my older brother to Ball State University? For a time I considered going into Fashion Merchandising hoping to own my own boutique some day. Not sure where this desire came from? Maybe it was a desire to surround myself with beautiful clothes since my wardrobe was very limited growing up because we did not have a lot of money. Thrift shopping was not the in thing in the 80’s and 90’s. I shopped for sales at our local stores and the mall. As most high school seniors desire to spread their wings and leave the nest, I dreamed about attending a school near Atlanta that offered Fashion Merchandising. But, this just did not seem like the path for me. I did not have peace about pursuing this direction. The inner impulse (Holy Spirit) was leading me back to ministry. The summer following graduation I was a part of SMP (Summer Missionary Project) at Oakhill, the campground owned by our fellowship of churches in Angola, IN. We served as camp counselors for the 3rd-5th grade camps and middle school camps and during non-camp weeks worked on the grounds cleaning dorms and cabins, working in the kitchen, and maintaining the church grounds. Jess Jessup, was the director of this program. We worked hard but this was a great discipleship program. During the course of the summer we read Christian classics by Brother Lawrence and A. W. Tozer. We would gather at the beginning of the day to talk about what we had read and pray. Half way through the summer as some of the counselors began to pair up as couples, I felt a little jealous. It was during this season of my life that I felt the Lord directing me to Matthew 6:33, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (most likely while listening to the Petra Praise CD). For the rest of the summer my attention turned to seeking first His kingdom. Before the summer began, I began to make plans to attend Christian Training Center (CTC), a two year non accredited Bible School operated by Calvary Ministries, the fellowship of churches that Calvary Chapel of Auburn was a part of. They had two locations, one in Fort Wayne, IN and one in Clearwater, FL. Since my desire to spread my wings was still there we visited the Clearwater location while my family was on vacation the summer after graduation. I remember either while we (Mom, Merle and me) were visiting with the director or shortly after our meeting breaking out in tears because I felt Clearwater was not the place for me. I am pretty sure it was while we were still visiting with him, how embarrassing. So we traveled home with plans for me to begin CTC in Fort Wayne while still living at home, sigh. I began CTC in the fall of 1991 and also began working as the secretary for CTC. I went to school in the morning in Fort Wayne and traveled to Angola in the afternoon to work. Tara, my best friend from church also served with SMP and attended CTC. She hosted a party for the counselors and some students from CTC just as CTC was beginning the fall semester. Thus is the beginning of my next installment and another wind of the yarn. Stay tuned as the story of my calling begins to unfold. P.S. Some of my favorite songs that give words to the story of my life. Be Thou My Vision and Give Me Jesus sung by Fernando Ortega. To Live as Christ words by Steve Fry sung beautifully by my stepfather, Merle. To Live Is Christ Lyrics (1986) To live is Christ and to die is gain There is no other life that I desire to claim Than the life that's dead that I might live again No more in self to pride, for I have died And to live is Christ, and to live is Christ For I've been crucified, and to live is Christ And my single thought is just to hear Your voice For this I have been bought, to make my Lord rejoice And if all I do is bring joy to You Then let my life be poured, an offering to the Lord And to live is Christ, and to live is Christ For I've been crucified, and to live is Christ Let my life be a fountain of Your blessing Let my life be a fragrant sacrifice That the hurt and bruised may know the God that loves them so Forever let my prayer be
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AuthorI am a woman who loves everything about making a house a home. I enjoy meal planning, cooking, baking, sewing, crafting, and decorating. Not so much cleaning and laundry, but that goes along with caring for a home. I am blessed to be married to a pastor and we have had the privilege of raising two daughters. Archives
July 2021
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