Introduction The task of nourishing our children can seem overwhelming at times. Especially when we realize that nourishing our children encompasses so much more than sustaining them physically. How do we nourish the child(ren) entrusted to us mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually? What does nourish even mean? Nourish: nurture, to promote the growth of, to furnish or sustain with nutriment. Nourishment promotes growth. A child will grow, but the goal of parenting is to raise a child until they are able to care for themselves. What does that practically look like day-to-day?
It goes back to Deuteronomy 6:4-7. "4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." I am not saying it is simple to raise a child. But, I am saying that it is the simple consistent investments in our child every day that nourishes them. "Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Parenting has been one of my greatest joys. In this series of blog posts I plan to share some practical tips on simply nourishing your child. Join me on this journey.
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I feel like Eric and I gave Satan a black eye last week. I believe anytime a couple resolve conflicts in marriage they take back ground that Satan has stolen; they give him a black eye. Satan is the father of lies. He wants so much for us to believe the lie that our spouse is the enemy. But, our spouse is not the enemy Satan is the enemy! In Mark 10:8 Jesus says that they (husband and wife) are no longer two but one. We are on the same team! If we are going to win this war to save marriages then we need to resist the urge to fight each other. I know from 26 years of being in a relationship with Eric that conflict for lack of a better term, sucks. It is a dark time; it can be a lonely time. We as humans are sinners and are not perfect. Therefore, we are not capable of loving anyone perfectly. But, that does not excuse us from not trying or disobeying the second greatest commandment of loving our neighbor as our self (Mark 12:31). Conflict is inevitable when any two people are together. We are each uniquely created individuals with different ways of thinking, expressing love and receiving love. I had an epiphany this past week in the midst of conflict. You would think I would have been able to grasp this the first ten times Eric tried to explain it to me. The way I feel when Eric is unloving to me is the way he feels when I am disrespectful to him. I want him to respond to me in love even in the midst of conflict. Then shouldn’t he want me to respond to him in respect even in the midst of conflict? There is a reason God commanded a husband to love his wife and a wife to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:22-33). It is not how we are each wired or act naturally. Respect is defined as an act of giving particular attention, the quality or state of being esteemed. Love is defined as a strong affection for another arising out of personal ties or an assurance of affection. Two words jumped out to me in these definitions. Esteemed and assurance. Does my husband feel esteemed; does he feel like he comes above my own needs? I can answer for Eric that he does not always feel this and then we spiral into conflict. As a wife I need the assurance of my husband’s love. When he is gruff or short with me, I feel unloved and we spiral into conflict. Then come those times when both partners are depleted from extra stress at work/ministry/home or sickness. Then neither is able to offer the other the love and respect that each feel they deserve. It is so hard to get out of this vicious cycle of pointing fingers. Healthy communication becomes non-existent. We become enemies and Satan is gaining ground. So what is a couple to do when they find they are in this dark place? First, we need to pray. We may feel like our spouse is the enemy. Luke 6:27-36 is very clear on how we are to treat our earthly enemies. Love, do good, bless, be merciful and pray. God will change our hearts when we begin to pray for our spouse. So we are in turn able to love, do good, bless and be merciful. Second, we need to remember we cannot do this in our own power. Do you know we have our own personal counselor? The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of truth. (John 14:15-27) He will empower us to love and respect our spouse in the good and bad times. Third, we need to step back and look at the bigger picture. Is there extra stress and demands on our personal lives that is affecting our relationship with our spouse? Is this a season where we need to offer more grace? How can we help each other to set boundaries to create time to nurture our relationship? In these difficult seasons of conflict we need to realize our spouse is not the actual enemy. Satan is the enemy. Is it any wonder that Satan wants to destroy marriages? A marriage is the beautiful illustration of Christ’s love for his bride, the Church. Satan wants to destroy both marriages and the Church with fear, miscommunication, misunderstanding, and mistrust which leads to hatred. Friends we need to fight for our marriages. Take responsibility for your actions and your conduct. Don’t point fingers. Ask yourself what can I do to help our marriage not only survive but thrive? How can I love my wife well? How can I respect my husband well? This may entail asking your spouse what that looks like tangibly for them. What you define as love or respect may not be how your spouse defines those terms. An epiphany, I know. Being the wife of a pastor I have attended a lot of weddings throughout our married life. One verse that has stood out to me is Mark 10:9, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” God has brought us together. He has joined us together, we are one. He is using me to help form Eric to be all that He created him to be. And vice versa. As uncomfortable as conflict may be, they are opportunities for growth. They are opportunities to chip away at those qualities in us that are not pleasing to God. They can be used to help us become all God intends for us to be. |
AuthorI am a woman who loves everything about making a house a home. I enjoy meal planning, cooking, baking, sewing, crafting, and decorating. Not so much cleaning and laundry, but that goes along with caring for a home. I am blessed to be married to a pastor and we have had the privilege of raising two daughters. Archives
July 2021
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