Sometimes I feel my brain is a ball of yarn that has fallen to the floor and unraveled. Recently I was running when my memory took me to my childhood home. A place where a canopy of crab apple trees covered the gravel lane that led to our home filling the air with lush fragrance and soothing pastels of color as the petals drifted to cover the ground in the gentle breeze. I began to recall other memories related to my childhood, the yarn unraveling even further. At one point, I thought how did my mind get here? All because I heard the word meadow in a song by John Lucas. "There's a home in the meadow, and it's a home you ought to meet." Our home was a home in the meadow. God has been prompting me during this pandemic season to remember. Much like we are instructed to do in Psalm 105:1,5 "1 Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done. 5 Remember the wonders he has done." It is time for me to begin to wind up the ball of yarn and with each turn of the ball, remember what He has done. Journey with me down that 1/4 mile gravel lane off of Country Road 35 in Auburn, IN. Although my first home was a small home within walking distance of a nice park in Cedarville, IN we moved to Auburn within my first year of life, so my first memories are of this home. I believe my dad wanted to live off the grid, to exist outside of governmental observation. My dad was the son of an alcoholic father and a veteran of the Vietnam War. Let's just say, he had little trust in others. My dad passed away in 2011 but there are so many questions I would like to ask him. "After returning from Vietnam you got your bachelor's in education, why did you never teach?" "Why did you want to live off the grid?" "Why did you abandon your responsibilities as a father and leave your family; your wife and four kids ages 8, 6, 3 and 1?" "Do you realize the issues I have had to work through because I grew up in a divorced home without a biological dad?" I know the questions get deep fast. Then God calls me to remember. Remember I am a God of redemption. I have been redeeming that which is broken since the Garden of Eden. I am so very grateful for God's heart of redemption. God saw that young family. He had plans for that young family. An earthly father may have abandoned his family, but our Heavenly Father was ever present. Shortly after my parent's separation, we received an invitation to church from a family whose son was a friend of my older brother. One Sunday our young family, a single mom with four kids (talk about courage in the early 1980's) drove south in their brown van on Country Road 35 and entered the doors of Hopewell United Brethren Church and my life would never be the same. Several people within this church (the Downen's, the Cook's, the Cherry's, the Bryant's, the Hughes' and Keith Steininger) adopted and discipled our family. I asked Jesus into my heart at the age of 7 during a week of Vacation Bible School. Barb Downen taught my VBS class. I memorized John 3:16 in Whirlybirds, a mid week Bible program that Keith Steininger helped to oversee. Jeanette Cherry was my Sunday School teacher faithfully sending postcards if I missed a Sunday. At the age of 8 I received my first Bible from Wing and Dorothy Hughes. In the back of this NIV Bible with a worn blue cover filled with stickers from the early 80's is written on the first Notes page in childish print and spelling, "I will never leve God." This is true almost 40 years later. But more importantly, I have learned that God will never leave me. Remember how God redeemed this young family, a wind of the yarn. Our home in the meadow from 1974-1984 through my childhood eyes was an idyllic home although I am sure my mom felt at times isolated and alone. She was most likely frustrated at the condition of the home because my dad began a remodel before their separation but never finished. She made the most of it by decorating our home with elements she found in nature, canning fruits and veggies harvested from our garden and fending off rabbits in the garden with the shotgun dad had left. We had a big flower and vegetable garden which included grape vines and a gooseberry patch. Store bought grape juice cannot compare to homemade canned grape juice and one of my favorite pies is tart gooseberry pie. In the winter she kept our home warm by stocking the wood burning stove with chopped logs. Boredom is the seedbed of creativity. We were forced to be creative as our only technology was a tv with four local channels. Every season we were outside exploring, hiking through the woods, climbing trees, weaving through the corn rows in the field, pitching and hitting baseballs with my brother, tromping through the snow, building snowmen and forming snow angels. Throughout the summer I was found trailing after my brother running while he was riding his bike. Seems like I continually had skinned up knees in the summer as sandals are not the best running shoes on gravel lanes. When the weather was not conducive to being outside I played school and dress up with my younger sisters or Monopoly or Chess with my brother. I also baked cookies or cakes in the kitchen, or tried, some ingredients may have been left out from time-to-time or maybe it was the wrong measurements, I was not very good at fractions. My very best friend, C.J., lived on the next County Road west of our home. We met at McKenney-Harrison Elementary School. Friday night sleepovers were so much fun at her farmhouse. We played Little House on the Prairie on the straw bales in the barn, picked strawberries in their strawberry patch, ice skated on her pond in the winter and took care of her horse, Bud. C.J.'s mom is a wonderful baker and cook. One of C.J.'s birthdays we pulled taffy. To a child growing up in a divorced home, C.J. 's family was an example of a family with a mom and a dad and they were very welcoming to me in their home. I am grateful to C.J. and how she so generously listened to me as I shared my thoughts and how she made a child of divorce feel normal. Remember how God provided adventure and friendship for a young elementary school aged girl, a wind of the yarn. Because of the divorce at such a young age I felt like I was always trying to catch up in school and when I felt like I caught up in the third grade in part because I remember the accomplishment I felt at completing my first chapter book, I had to work my tail off to stay in the game. Although I was near the top of my class academically, school never came easy. Even at times as an adult I struggle with feeling “not as smart” as those around me. A continual struggle as I desire to live as God’s beloved daughter knowing He is proud of me as my Heavenly Father not for what I do but because I am His. When I was in the third grade Hopewell United Brethren Church went through a church split. At this young age I did not understand all the dynamics involved. My mom decided at the time of the split to begin to look for a new church. In June of 1982, mom, Tim and I visited Calvary Chapel of Auburn in a storefront in downtown Auburn. It was one of their last Sundays in the storefront before moving to the new church they were building on CR 427 just south of Auburn. I did not know that Sunday that CC of Auburn would be my new church family until Eric and I went to seminary in 1996. Again our young family was adopted by other families. The Buss family invited us to go on vacation with them to a cabin in the UP of Michigan. Lake Superior was a walk down the dunes from the cabin. Our two families caravaned together to the cabin using walkie talkies between the two vehicles. They had three older children with their youngest being the same age and good friends with my older brother. The week was filled with running up and down the dunes, climbing on the breakers in the lake, meals together, games, baths in a nearby warmer lake, and I am sure much laughter. Some laughter at my expense by my brother and his friend as I took a tumble running down the dune and landing on my face right in front of them. You can’t take yourself too seriously, get up and laugh it off. I love the body of Christ, His church. We are all children of God, family. When the body of Christ gathers there is laughter, joy, fun, compassion, giving, and so much more. I am grateful for these earliest memories of doing life together that our girls now have experienced with our church family. Middle school was rough, we moved from my idyllic home in the country to a home in the town of Auburn the summer before sixth grade. I went from having my own room to sharing a room with my two younger sisters. Two redeeming factors of the move was the library was one block from our house and the downtown area of Auburn with the dime shop where I bought my cross stitch supplies was within walking distance. My class was the first class to begin sixth grade in middle school. Before that elementary school was kindergarten through sixth grade and junior high was 7th grade through 9th grade. We were the first sixth grade class to begin at the middle school. Middle school is a time of transition. A lot of elementary schools come together to form one middle school. C.J. was accepted into the gifted program for our core classes so we did not have many classes together. At the start of middle school my mom qualified for reduced lunches with the school. Students who received reduced lunches had to go through a separate lunch line. I sincerely hope this policy is not still in place. At an age where you are desperately wanting to fit in they institute a practice like a separate lunch line where you stand out. I am thankful for the friendships that developed within my youth group at church. I know they carried me through my middle school and high school experience. Since 6th grade was moving to middle school, our youth group adjusted accordingly and I joined the youth group as a sixth grader. One of the first trips I took with the youth group was to Cedar Point. Several girls in high school took me under their wing and let me hang around them. This meant I was able to ride quite a few of the roller coasters out of positive peer pressure. I met Tara at church. Tara was one year ahead of me in school. Summers in middle school and early high school were spent at her house watching 80’s romantic comedies and hanging around her pool singing the soundtracks to the 80’s romantic comedies. Looking back I can now see another of God’s gifts in the friendships He provided at church. I often felt out of place at school but church and time with Tara, the youth group, and my church family was where I could be myself...another wind of the yarn.
2 Comments
7/20/2020 03:24:28 pm
Dear Becky, What a DELIGHT to read this portion of your story. I want to jump right into your childhood lane and sit with you in the meadow. Your words are a treasure and I LOVED how you wrote "I will never leve God." SO precious.
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Marsha Bredemeyers Gutierrez
7/20/2020 04:25:50 pm
This is such a beautiful story. I remember visiting when you lived in the country. Your sweet mama raised 4 amazing children, who are now ALL adults. I thank God for her friendship, and for the amazing things she and all she instilled in her beautiful family
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AuthorI am a woman who loves everything about making a house a home. I enjoy meal planning, cooking, baking, sewing, crafting, and decorating. Not so much cleaning and laundry, but that goes along with caring for a home. I am blessed to be married to a pastor and we have had the privilege of raising two daughters. Archives
July 2021
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